|
|
Overcoming Fears: Lowering The Gradient As A Way To Meet Up With Women And Connect With Women
A couple of weeks ago one of my close friends asked a question which i thought was worth discussing. He asked me how to overcome fears that pop up sometimes - even when things are going good.
To be honest it's not at all a simple question to answer as it varies from person to person. There are literally entire books that have been written on that matter only. However, one of the best ways I have used to overcome my fears usually involves lowering the gradient.
What are gradients? Gradients are just like steps on a ladder. If you try to go to the top of the ladder on your first step, it will be impossible and you will fail. If you keep trying it again and again you may begin to build up a "complex" about failing, and soon not try anymore.
If you try to jump up five or six steps on your first try, it will also be scary - not necessarily impossible but frightening. Probability is that if you have no experiences leaping that high you may fail too.
The right approach is to take the first step and then advance one-step at a time. It is the most secure way to climb a ladder.
Here are some examples of how I apply that to overcome fears that pop up in meeting women and dating women:
As many guys do, I often go out to meet women in a social setting. Sometimes it is particularly scary. So I am approaching an attractive woman in a social setting, rather than telling her how beautiful she is and how much I am fascinated by her (that exposes my fear of being shot down in front of lots of people and embarrassed) I lower the gradient of approach and simply say "Hi." If a girl likes you or is interested in you she will find a way to continue the conversation. If she doesn't then i know she is not interested in me and the simple "Hi" just shows that I am friendly - not necessarily even flirting - thus I don't feel shot down in front of many people.
If I am starting to date a girl and I feel fearful taking the next step of trying to get intimate with her, I don't ask her "Do you want to get intimate?" I take a lower gradient and ask her if she wants to relax, get cozy, and just watch TV at my place. If she doesn't want to get intimate she surely won't wish to be alone with me, getting cozy at my house. Or rather than trying to suddenly "kiss her", I will simply hold her hand or give her light touches every now and again to see how responsive she is to my touch. If she likes my touch she will start touching me back to render me with the go ahead signal.
These are a few examples. If you feel uncomfortable and fearful just try to think of a lower gradient that isn't as scary and allows you to make forward progress toward your main goal. If you do this you will know how to meet women and the way to relate to them very quickly.
Is Speed Seduction Another Fraud? Is Ross Jeffries Book A Kind Of Scam?
Jeffries book "How To Get The Women You Desire into Bed" can be said to be outdated, timeless, trashy, and inspiring all at the same time.
Blind Date Compared To Online Date - Which One Will Be Effective
Your friend has decided that you need help with your social life so she sets you up with a blind date - a friend of a friend of a friend.
Mr. Right Is Simply Just A Myth
You ARE going to have to actively seek the man of your dreams and you won't find him hiding under your bed. You already know that he isn't among the men that you are acquainted with so, now what? Online dating is "what".
Is David Deangelo A Scam? Is His Work Double Your Dating A Scam?
Is David Deangelo a scam? Well, my first reaction is to say no, as he does provide a very good service to men. He really gives us a lot of useful data on how to meet women.
What You Need To Know About Mystery Plus The Mystery Method
If you simply want to be a pick up artist, then Mystery' system will work, although you will probably find that Mr. L. Rx's system works for PUA's even better and that you might end up with the kind of a woman you want if you go with Mr. L. Rx's system.
Some Fundamental Things You Need To Know About David Deangelo And Double Your Dating
I give David Deangelo and Double Your Dating a 6 1/2 out of 10 rating because the "Cocky and Funny" stuff although workable, isn't situational and doesn't work as good as Mr. L. Rx's stuff (Dating To Relating) which I find to be the best overall system.
How To Talk With Any Girl, Anytime, Anywhere Successfully.
What to do to get the conversation going when there is seemingly nothing to talk about. How to spark conversation with ANY girl in a very simple and effective manner.
|
More Articles
Blogroll
|
